Forty-two and Fifty-two
This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage, Cantoro Trattoria, Mavericks, Roger Craig, Smoldering Sunset
Welcome to my weekly newsletter. This week’s issue features highlights from my wedding 42 years ago, Ann Patchett on marriage, our anniversary dinner, musical mavericks from Miami, a baseball lifer with ties to my three favorite teams, and a sizzling stovetop. I hope you enjoy the picks and pics.
Fave Five 36: Forty-two and Fifty-two. Wedded Wisdom (This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage), Pasta/Pizza (Cantoro Trattoria), Miami Musicians (The Mavericks and Raul Malo), Met/Cardinal/Tiger (Roger Craig), and a Smoldering Sunset.
Fave Five List: Matrimonial Memories
Yesterday Barb and I celebrated our 42nd anniversary. We started dating 52 years ago, and ten years later, we tied the knot. This week’s list highlights some key moments leading up to and including our wedding day.
We got engaged on November 6, 1980 at Chez Louis in Clayton, Missouri. It was Barb’s birthday and we were celebrating at our favorite French bistro. After dessert, I gave Barb her birthday card in which I had written, “Will you marry me?” She said yes, and ever since, she has complained that I did not get down on one knee. I preferred doing it my own way. After dinner, we went to Barb’s parents’ home nearby to give them the good news. Barb’s dad Walker reacted in his inimitable way by saying, “You know, your brother has a new address,” which I took to mean, “Welcome to the family!”
On June 4, 1981, Barb had a doe party, and I had a stag party. Driving home from Barb’s party at the downtown Sheraton, two of the women got into an accident late at night in a sketchy part of St. Louis, in the time well before cell phones. At my party, Barb’s brother Bill tried to sneak some vodka into my customary 7-Up with lime, but I was not fooled. We listened to the local band Fairchild at Caleco’s on Laclede, near St. Louis University, and two members of our group were overserved. That night, Bill asked Barb to see if his contact lenses were in or out of his eyes, because he was unsure.
On June 5, 1981, my parents hosted the rehearsal dinner at their home in University City. When Bill arrived, I asked him what he wanted to drink, but he just asked for aspirin. My mom made a surprising choice for dinner: roast tongue. My dad became upset when my mom asked me to go out for more ice, because this showed that he had underestimated the amount needed. As they were arguing about this, Barb’s mom Marie entered the kitchen, became aware of the situation, and turned on her heel and left. Walker took full advantage of the open bar.
We were married on June 6, 1981 at St. Joseph Catholic Church in Clayton. Walker ventured out to buy a new shirt right before the wedding. My brother David was the best man, my sister Joan was the matron of honor, my sister Ann played the organ, her daughter Julie was the flower girl, Barb’s brothers Buzz and Bill performed the readings, and her Uncle Gerald and Uncle Jerome (both priests) officiated. My dad got into another argument right after the ceremony, this time about the best route to take to the reception.
The reception was held at Le Chateau Village in Frontenac, Missouri. We had shrimp and steak, a Hayes family tradition for festive occasions. David put together a jazz band featuring trumpeter Randy Holmes and other St. Louis musicians. Our first dance was to “The Last Time I Felt Like This” from the movie Same Time, Next Year, an interesting choice as the film is about a man and woman, married to others, who have a fling with each other once a year. David surprised me with a performance of “Renata,” my favorite of his original compositions which he introduced as a “mystery song.”
These stories all happened 42 years ago, but they are still vivid in my mind. Our parents, Barb’s uncles, and Bill are no longer with us, but our memories of them and of these moments endure. What a privilege it is to have been in love for 52 years.
Bonus Fave Five Trivia Question: 5 Former Pistons on the Nuggets
I previously featured two former Detroit Pistons currently contributing to the Denver Nuggets’ playoff run. Can you name all five players on the Denver roster who have previously been on the Detroit roster? The answer is at the bottom of this issue.
Book Best Bet
This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage by Ann Patchett
I have read and loved all of Ann’s books, and I previously featured These Precious Days. I picked this one in honor of another happy marriage — my own. Ann is equally great at writing fiction and nonfiction, and this very personal story of her own marriages falls under the latter category.
From Amazon: Blending literature and memoir, New York Times bestselling author Ann Patchett, author of State of Wonder, Run, and Bel Canto, examines her deepest commitments—to writing, family, friends, dogs, books, and her husband—creating a resonant portrait of a life in This is the Story of a Happy Marriage.
Stretching from her childhood to the present day, from a disastrous early marriage to a later happy one, This is the Story of a Happy Marriage covers a multitude of topics, including relationships with family and friends, and charts the hard work and joy of writing, and the unexpected thrill of opening a bookstore.
As she shares stories of the people, places, ideals, and art to which she has remained indelibly committed, Ann Patchett brings into focus the large experiences and small moments that have shaped her as a daughter, wife, and writer.
I had been so engaged by Ann Patchett’s multifaceted story, so lured in by her confiding voice, that I forgot I was on the job. […] As the best personal essays often do, Patchett’s is a two-way mirror, reflecting both the author and her readers.” — New York Times Book Review
From Wikipedia: Ann Patchett (born December 2, 1963 in Los Angeles) is an American author. She received the 2002 PEN/Faulkner Award and the Orange Prize for Fiction in the same year, for her novel Bel Canto. Patchett's other novels include The Patron Saint of Liars (1992), Taft (1994), The Magician's Assistant (1997), Run (2007), State of Wonder (2011), Commonwealth (2016), and The Dutch House (2019). The Dutch House was a finalist for the 2020 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction.
She attended the Iowa Writers' Workshop at the University of Iowa, where she lived with the memoirist and poet Lucy Grealy. Their time as roommates and their life-long friendship was the subject of her 2004 memoir Truth & Beauty.
In 2010, she co-founded a bookstore with Karen Hayes, Parnassus Books, in Nashville, Tennessee, which opened in November 2011. In 2016, Parnassus Books expanded, adding a bookmobile to expand the reach of the bookstore in Nashville. Patchett currently lives in Nashville, Tennessee, with her husband, Karl VanDevender. It is Patchett’s second marriage.
Restaurant Recommendation
Cantoro Trattoria 15550 N. Haggerty Road, Plymouth, MI 48170
This place is a favorite of Barb’s, so I reserved a table for our anniversary dinner that was yesterday. We were seated in the patio area on a sunny and pleasant evening.
We started by sharing an arugula salad: Rucola e Parmigiano (baby arugula, shaved parmigiano, lemon, and extra virgin olive oil). It was light and refreshing.
Barb ordered pasta: Ravioli di Vitello con Pomodoro e Panna (house-made veal ravioli with palomino sauce). She was very happy with it.
I had a pizza: Diavola (tomato sauce, hot soppressata, hot capicola, house ground sausage, Hungarian hot peppers and fresh mozzarella). It combined some excellent flavors, and it appeared to be too large to finish. But finish it I did.
From the restaurant: At the Plymouth location of Cantoro Italian Trattoria, we offer an authentic Italian dining experience—featuring dishes that are deeply rooted in tradition, while offering adventurous new flavors and an extensive wine list.
Serving superb contemporary Italian food and wine in unique and attractive settings is the passion behind our family-owned restaurant. Mario Fallone founded the highly celebrated Cantoro Italian Market in 1967 and now with his two sons, John and Michael, operate the Italian dining destination.
At our trattoria in Plymouth, Executive Sous Chefs Cesar Neri, Francisco Neri, and Jose Rosas, along with a team of cooks, prepare our signature Italian dishes including meat, fish and seafood, homemade pastas and pizza.
Marvelous Musicians
On May 19, 2023, I attended the last of three great shows in one week at The Michigan Theater in Ann Arbor. It was my first time seeing The Mavericks, and I had a seat in the third row for the sold-out show. The band was talented and full of energy, and I enjoyed the many instrumental solos. It was a fantastic concert.
I first saw Raul as a solo performer at The Ark in Ann Arbor on May 28, 2015 and then on the Cayamo cruise in 2019 and 2020. He has a beautifully expressive voice.
From Wikipedia: The Mavericks are an American country music band from Miami, Florida. The band consists of Raul Malo (lead vocals, guitar), Paul Deakin (drums), Eddie Perez (lead guitar), and Jerry Dale McFadden (keyboards). Malo and Deakin founded the band in 1989 along with Robert Reynolds (bass guitar) and Ben Peeler (lead guitar). After one independent album, the band was signed by MCA Nashville Records and David Lee Holt replaced Peeler on lead guitar; he would be replaced by Nick Kane shortly after their second MCA album and third overall 1994's What a Crying Shame. The band recorded a total of four albums for MCA and one for Mercury Records before disbanding in 2000. They reunited for one album in 2003 on Sanctuary Records, by which point Perez had become their fourth guitarist, and former touring keyboardist Jerry Dale McFadden became an official fifth member. The lineup of Malo, Deakin, Reynolds, Perez, and McFadden reunited a second time in 2012 for a series of new albums, first on Big Machine Records' Valory imprint and then on Mono Mundo. Reynolds was fired in 2014 and while he was not officially replaced, Ed Friedland is their touring bassist.
Raúl Francisco Martínez-Malo Jr. (born August 7, 1965), known professionally as Raúl Malo, is an American singer, songwriter, guitarist and record producer. He is the lead singer of country music band The Mavericks and the co-writer of many of their singles, as well as Rick Trevino's 2003 single "In My Dreams". After the disbanding of The Mavericks in the early 2000s, Malo pursued a solo career. He has also participated from 2001 in the Los Super Seven supergroup. The Mavericks re-formed in 2012 and continue to tour extensively. In 2015 they won the Americana music award for duo/group of the year.
The Mavericks” “Back In Your Arms Again”
Raul Malo: "Stardust" in the Stardust Theater, Feb. 9, 2020, Cayamo Cruise
My Playlist
Sports Star
Roger Craig died on Sunday. When I was a kid, I remember thinking that he was not very good because he lost over 20 games for the New York Mets in the team’s first two years of existence—1962 and 1963. He was traded to the St. Louis Cardinals in 1964 and won the World Series that year. He was the pitching coach for the Detroit Tigers when they won the World Series in 1984.
I was a Mets fan from 1964 to 1972, a Cardinals fan in 1963 and from 1973 to 1985, and a Tigers fan since 1986. Craig was never on any of these teams at the time I was a fan, and I seem to have followed him around. My son Roger is named for many outstanding athletes, but Roger Craig was not one of them. Craig did have a fine career as a pitcher, coach, and manager, and helped the Tigers win their most recent championship 39 years ago. So, to honor his memory, I will add him to the list of greats for whom Roger is named.
Roger Craig, Teacher of an Era-Defining Pitch, Is Dead at 93 by Richard Goldstein
A lanky 6-foot-4 right-hander who, it was often noted, bore a remarkable resemblance to President Lyndon B. Johnson, Craig pitched in three World Series for the Dodgers in the 1950s and another with the St. Louis Cardinals in 1964.
After winning three World Series as a player, Craig became a coach and spread the gospel of the split-fingered fastball, what one player of the time called “the pitch of the ’80s.”
“The split finger is, simply, a fastball that you put an extra spin on so that it drops down in front of the batter so fast that he don’t know where it’s goin’,” Craig explained in a 1988 interview with Playboy. “Every pitcher with brains who wants to stick around wants to learn it.”
In looking back on his career, Craig shared wry memories of pitching for Casey Stengel’s Mets. As he related it to CBS Sports in 2013, Stengel would tell him more or less the following: “Mr. Craig, I know you pitched nine innings today and won’t pitch again for four days, but don’t throw between starts just in case we’re ahead. I may need you to pitch an inning or two.”
Roger Craig, renowned pitching coach of 1984 Detroit Tigers, dies by Mike Fitzpatrick
Craig was a rookie on the 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers club that won the franchise's first title. He had a terrific season for the 1959 Los Angeles Dodgers, who beat the Chicago White Sox in the World Series. And he made 39 appearances for the 1964 St. Louis Cardinals squad that topped the New York Yankees for the championship.
The 6-foot-4 right-hander also pitched for the New York Mets, Cincinnati Reds and Philadelphia Phillies during his 12-year career, finishing 74-98 with a 3.83 ERA and 19 saves. His best season came in 1959, when he went 11-5 with a 2.06 ERA in 29 games (17 starts), and his four shutouts tied for most in the National League.
After his playing days were done, Craig became a renowned pitching coach for the San Diego Padres, Houston Astros and Detroit Tigers — famously encouraging his charges to “humm, baby" in a low southern drawl.
He was on manager Sparky Anderson's staff with the 1984 Tigers, who opened 35-5 and won the World Series. Craig was credited with teaching the split-finger fastball to Hall of Fame starter Jack Morris and 1986 NL Cy Young Award winner Mike Scott.
Roger Craig made an imprint beyond his time with 1984 Tigers by Lynn Henning
He pitched in three World Series for the then-Brooklyn Dodgers during the 1950s and was a starter in their final game before the team moved to Los Angeles at the end of the 1957 season. He threw the first pitch in Mets history, in 1962, the year he lost 24 games, and then pitched for the Cardinals in the 1964 World Series, 25 years before he managed the Giants in the 1989 World Series.
It was his time with Sparky Anderson, with Jack Morris, with Dan Petry, with Milt Wilcox, with Willie Hernandez and Aurelio Lopez (“Señor Smoke”) that made Craig a historic coaching presence in Detroit.
Whatever made Craig a man of such stature that even Anderson — with his robust ego — listened and even deferred to him, nothing put Craig’s imprint on Detroit baseball history quite like 1984 and his influence on the Tigers’ last world-championship team.
From Wikipedia: Roger Lee Craig (born February 17, 1930 in Durham, North Carolina; died June 4, 2023 in San Diego) was an American pitcher, coach and manager in Major League Baseball. He played for the Brooklyn / Los Angeles Dodgers, New York Mets, St. Louis Cardinals, Cincinnati Reds, and Philadelphia Phillies from 1955 to 1966. Craig then became a pitching coach and manager. As a player and coach, Craig was part of four World Series championship teams. As a manager, he led the 1989 San Francisco Giants to the team's first National League championship in 27 years.
Picture Pun
I thought this was a glimpse of a beautiful sunset. Then I realized I forgot to turn off the stove.
Bonus Fave Five List: Five Former Detroit Pistons on the Denver Nuggets
Bruce Brown (Detroit: 2018-20)
Kentavious Caldwell-Pope (Detroit: 2013-17)
Reggie Jackson (Detroit: 2014-20)
DeAndre Jordan (traded to Detroit in 2021, but waived before playing a game)
Ish Smith (Detroit: 2016-19)